Good day and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards, dwell from the Beverly Hilton Lodge right here in Los Angeles. I’m Ricky Gervais. Tha
Good day and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards, dwell from the Beverly Hilton Lodge right here in Los Angeles. I’m Ricky Gervais. Thanks.
You’ll be happy to know that is the final time I’m internet hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking: I by no means did. NBC clearly don’t care both – fifth time. I imply, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars due to some offensive tweets. Good day [pointing at himself].
Fortunate for me, the Hollywood international press can barely communicate English they usually do not know what Twitter is. I obtained supplied this gig by fax. So let’s exit with a bang. Let’s have fun at your expense, we could? Bear in mind, they’re simply jokes. We’re all gonna die quickly and there’s no sequel, so do not forget that. However you all look pretty, all dolled up. You got here in your limos. I got here right here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. It’s her daughter I really feel sorry for – that have to be essentially the most embarrassing factor that’s ever occurred to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs.
So plenty of huge celebrities right here tonight. I imply legends, icons. Take a look at this desk alone. Al Pacino. Robert De Niro. Child Yoda. Oh no, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry. I like you man, don’t have me whacked.
However tonight isn’t simply in regards to the folks in entrance of the digicam. On this room are a few of the most essential TV and movie executives on the earth. Folks from each background. However all of them have one factor in frequent. They’re all petrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you. Look, speaking of all you perverts. It was a giant yr for paedophile motion pictures: Surviving R Kelly, Leaving Neverland… The Two Popes.
Many proficient folks of color had been snubbed in main classes. Sadly, there’s nothing we are able to do about that. The Hollywood international press are all very, very racist. So fifth time. We had been going to do an in memoriam this yr, however after I noticed the listing of those who died, it wasn’t various sufficient. It was largely white folks and I believed, nah, not on my watch.
Perhaps subsequent yr, let’s see what occurs. Nobody cares about motion pictures anymore. Nobody goes to the cinema. Nobody actually watches community TV. Everybody’s watching Netflix. This present ought to simply be me popping out going ‘properly accomplished Netflix, you win every thing. Goodnight.’ However no, no, we’ve obtained to pull it out for 3 hours. You may binge watch your entire first season of After Life as an alternative of watching this present. That’s a present a couple of man who desires to kill himself as a result of his spouse dies of most cancers. And it’s nonetheless extra enjoyable than this. Okay, spoiler alert, season two is on the way in which. So ultimately, he clearly didn’t kill himself – similar to Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I do know he’s your good friend, however I don’t care. You needed to make your personal manner right here by yourself aircraft didn’t you?
However critically, most movies are terrible, lazy remakes and sequels. I’ve heard a hearsay that there could be a sequel to Sophie’s Selection. I imply, that might simply be Meryl Streep going, ‘Properly it’s obtained to be this one then.’
All one of the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO, and the actors who simply do Hollywood motion pictures now do fantasy journey nonsense. They put on masks and capes and actually tight costumes. Their job isn’t appearing anymore, it’s going to the fitness center twice a day and taking steroids. Have we obtained an award for many ripped junkie? No, no level.
Martin Scorsese, the best dwelling director, made the information for his controversial feedback in regards to the Marvel franchise. He stated they’re not actual cinema they usually remind him of theme parks. I agree, though I don’t know what he’s doing hanging round theme parks. He’s not sufficiently big to go on the rides. He’s tiny. The Irishman was wonderful. It was wonderful. Lengthy, however wonderful. It wasn’t the one epic film. As soon as Upon a Time in Hollywood, almost three hours lengthy. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the top, his date was too outdated for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, ‘Come on Leo mate, you realize, you’re almost 50 son.’
The world obtained to see James Corden as a fats pussy. He was additionally within the film Cats, however nobody noticed that. And the critiques had been surprising. I noticed one which stated that is the worst factor to occur to cats since canines. However Dame Judi Dench defended the movie, saying it was the function she was born to play as a result of she – I can’t do that subsequent joke. As a result of she loves nothing higher than plonking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her arse gap. She’s old fashioned. It’s the final time, who cares.
Apple roared into the TV recreation with The Morning Present, an outstanding drama. An excellent drama in regards to the significance of dignity and doing the best factor, made by an organization that runs sweatshops in China. So, properly, you say you’re woke, however the firms you’re employed for. I imply, unbelievable: Apple, Amazon, Disney. If Isis began a streaming service, you’d name your agent, wouldn’t you? So when you do win an award tonight, please don’t use it as a platform to make…