Inside, we had been getting overrun. The groups of two ended up getting separated. Now we’re simply one-man items. It was so complicated as a result of all people was in every single place. They didn’t simply come by the doorways; they got here by the home windows. We had been simply outmatched. This struggle begins occurring for hours. You’ve bought a masks on. There’s OC spray [a kind of pepper spray] within the air. All these components are contributing to officer fatigue. Everyone’s simply working on adrenaline, simply pure adrenaline.
At one level, I confronted a bunch of terrorists within the crypt. There have been downed officers behind me, and, I’m like, “I’ve to carry this hallway.” I’m drained, however I mentioned, “Y’all not coming by right here.” They mentioned, “We’re coming. That is our home. We’re taking on.” That’s once I mentioned, “We’ve bought dozens of downed officers right here. Why are y’all doing this? Get out!” I assume it was a bunch of the Oathkeepers and so they seemed to be involved. “Officers are harm?” That’s when one man mentioned, “We’re doing this for you,” and confirmed me his badge. He was an officer. However they didn’t get by me. Just one particular person tried to get by me at the moment, and he met the ground. He met the ground. Lastly, officers with armored gear responded and held that space.
Now, there was a second when racist slurs had been used towards you.
So I run up the stairwell. There’s folks freaking in every single place. They noticed I got here from an space that wasn’t occupied by terrorists. So that they tried to go down the steps. I mentioned, “No, you’re not taking place there.” And I’m exhausted. They’re saying, “Trump is our rightful president. No person voted for Joe Biden.” I wanted to catch my breath. So I mentioned, “I voted for Joe Biden. What? My vote doesn’t matter?” A girl responded, “This [slur] voted for Joe Biden!” Everyone that was there began becoming a member of in. “Hey, [slur]!” It was over 20 individuals who mentioned it.
Later, you broke down within the Rotunda.
As soon as the F.B.I. and all these different officers arrived, the Capitol began getting cleared out and safer. The officers who had been preventing from the beginning, plenty of us simply sat down on the ground. There was trash in every single place. The smoke was thick. I noticed certainly one of my buddies who I’ve recognized mainly since I’ve been on the division, and we simply checked out one another. And we simply began speaking in regards to the day and the way we had been hurting. A warfare is made up of 100 battles. We had been all within the warfare, however all of us had totally different battles. Lots of us Black officers fought a distinct battle than all people else fought. I mentioned to my buddy, “I bought referred to as [slur] a pair dozen instances right this moment.” I’m taking a look at him. He’s bought blood on him. I’ve bought bloody knuckles. We’re hurting. That’s once I mentioned, “Is that this America?” and I began crying. Tears are coming down my face. “Is that this America?”
I do know you wish to steer clear of politics, however how did you are feeling when your expertise was referenced within the impeachment trial?
At the moment, I hadn’t gone public but. However lots of people knew my story. I used to be in the midst of the Rotunda crying. I used to be loud. I didn’t conceal it. I used to be beginning to heal, and it sort of introduced me again there another time. It was tough time.
How has the affect of the violence of Jan. 6 been on officers’ psychological well being?
It took a horrific toll on us. Counselors have been accessible, however I feel lots of people are reluctant to make use of them. Psychological well being has all the time been a stigma. No person needs to speak about it. If you look like damaged or harm, you’re weak. Now persons are questioning, “Can I even go inform them that I’m not OK with out them taking my gun from me and dropping my job?” I need folks to comprehend it’s OK and it’s regular to really feel a sure sort of means.